Do fear and anxiety keep you from dealing with unavoidable situations and feelings? These expert tips will help you overcome patterns of paralyzing behavior.
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It is human nature to avoid the emotions that scare us. Who wants to walk straight on what promises to be a painful experience? Except that by constantly avoiding seeing the 'Boogeyman' inside, you become a hostage to the monster. Usually this involves hiding from any potential stressors that could be upsetting and engaging in endless distractions. I wish you were also hiding from the potential challenges that can lead to growth and happiness. Plus, you can't hide from fear forever. Despite your best efforts to suppress it, it's about to strike. And it's likely that it will strike at a time when you need emotional equanimity the most.
The good news is that once you face your fear—and vent to the boogeyman—instead of pushing it to a distant compartment of your brain, it's your ability to rule and dictate your decisions. seems to lose.
Studies on Anxiety and Fear
A study published in the journal Science by researchers at the cole Polytechnique Fédérale de Lausanne (EPFL) summarizes how the brain has to re-experience a fear in order to actually extinguish it. Here's what the researchers did: They put the rodents in a small box and gave them a light jolt and then took them out. Over a longer period, the researchers returned the rats to the box, but did not give the shocks. Initially, the rats froze, but with repeated exposure to the box and no additional shocks, they eventually came to rest.
Anxiety can be reduced by repeated exposure to event(s) that cause trauma to humans. For example, treatment for the fear of flying is often exposure therapy that involves gradual and repeated exposure to the feared object in a controlled environment.
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For example, a person who is sedentary at the thought of flying may, in an exposure therapy treatment, begin by reading a story about a plane crash, and gradually move to an airport without boarding a plane. can work, then board a plane without taking off, then finally take a short flight…
With repeated exposure to a safe location, such as a physician's office, anxiety levels for the event(s) that caused the trauma decrease.
face your fears
My patient *Doreen suffered one of the most horrific traumas ever - her twin sister committed suicide. Fourteen months later another tragedy struck: *Beth, a cousin with whom Doreen was once extremely close, jumped off a bridge to her death. Doreen horrified—and horrified—the grieving process. She was afraid to lose herself in extreme grief. Instead of dealing with her emotions, she found what felt like the perfect coping mechanism: non-stop solo travel to far-flung corners of the world. During his rare time at home, he felt lonely, but found many reasons not to be friends.
After a particularly adventurous trip, she collapsed in my office. "Sherry, I grew up at Amazon and had a session with a magician and yet it felt so hollow. I wanted to share the experience with someone...with Beth."
Doreen's distress convinced her it was time to stay home for a few months (her bank account would thank her!).
I suggested that she build new relationships through a social networking website called Meetup. Several times she registered for an activity, but at the last minute she experienced symptoms of anxiety so unbearable that she remained at home.
During one session, I asked, "Why does letting someone close to you scare you so much?"
He closed his eyes and said after a few minutes of contemplation, "If I allow myself to be weak, it will kill me when that person is gone."
"Why do you believe that person would leave?"
"My sister and Beth are gone - everyone does."
"And yet here you stand still. You survived the worst that could have happened. How could it be so hard to attend a pottery painting event?"
The next day he registered for a group hiking program. At our next session she confessed on the morning of the hike that she experienced such severe anxiety symptoms—sweating of the palms, trembling of the lips, heart palpitations—so uncomfortable, she almost didn't go. "I told myself, 'Fear is a momentary emotion, says Sherry. If I run from it I'll feel worse later.'"
She had such a wonderful time on the hike that she volunteered to arrange the group's next outing. Doreen recalled, "As soon as I got home I got so anxious that I got on the phone to cancel my offer but I breathed to myself and continued to go about my day."
Soon Doreen had an active social life for the first time in years. Yes, she still experienced anxiety, but she now had coping methods that allowed her to find relief and let the anxiety go. "I'm still really scared of losing people, but I'm afraid of never eventually finding what I really want—the community."
